I am happy to answer questions when possible if they are emailed to me.
By publishing some of them I hope that this will benefit others.
Presented by Lady Layla
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Jenny from Margate – Question – Most women tell me that they find porn disgusting and sex toys dirty. I love both. Is there something wrong with me?
Answer – There is nothing wrong with you – You are perfectly normal. The fact is that most women lie. For a start over 40% of women own sextoys and more would like one but for the fact that they would feel embarrassed. As for their disinterest in porn – Scientific studies have been carried out measuring excitement levels in women as they watch male masturbation. The conclusions have been that around 86% of women are excited to a greater or lesser degree. The fact is that most heterosexual women love the sight of naked men, are excited when watching male masturbation and are aroused when viewing sexual intercourse. You are normal. Many women are just liars.
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Mel from Bolton – Question – I am allergic to latex and so cannot use condoms. I enjoy casual sex but am worried about the health implications. Have you any ideas?
Answer – Casual sex is a problem when indulging in sexual intercourse. I presume that you are on the pill and at least that’s one problem averted. If you have a lot of sex with a lot of different men without a condom the chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease is high. You have two possible answers. Firstly you could refrain from casual sex and find yourself a partner who is disease free. If this doesn’t appeal and you want to have sexual intercourse with a lot of different men then I suggest you buy some latex-free condoms. These are available in the Nobs and Nockers section of this website. I think you would be wise to get some of these.
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Olivia from Nottingham – Question – I am 29 years old and have been with my partner for 5 years. I really want kids but he says there is plenty of time – maybe in 7 to 8 years. Do you think that is reasonable?
Answer – I do not. He is either uncaring or an idiot. Sex is not just about achieving an orgasm but is also about having children. There are two good reasons why you need to have children earlier rather than later. The first is that there is less chance of a woman conceiving the older she gets. It is best if women have their children by the age of 25. By 35 the odds on becoming pregnant are severely reduced. The second reason is that older mothers have more chances of having children with genetic defects such as Down Syndrome. New research has revealed that the children of older mothers also face a greater risk of developing diabetes, dementia and heart disease. You do not want to leave having children until you are 36 or 37. I suggest that you get on with it. It is obvious that his interest in sex is merely his desire to achieve a male orgasm. Ask him to consider your reasonable wishes and to have your family sooner rather than later. If he still has no interest then he doesn’t care for you – at least not enough. Tell him to stop being stupid or to sod off.
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Kate from Birmingham – Question – My daughter is 14 years old and I know that she is interested in masturbation. Could you recommend any vibrators or other sex sextoys that I could buy for her?
Answer – Although I am in the business of marketing sextoys I would prefer not to sell one, especially a vibrator, for use by your daughter. The thing is that vibrators offer very intense stimulation. This is ideal for a woman who has enjoyed masturbation for years as it usually results in an orgasm. However, it can be a bit much for a novice to masturbation and could even be painful. It is not wise to put a girl off this form of masturbation for life – Female masturbation is one of the joys of the world and all women should use sextoys. At your daughters age the vibrations can be too intense. It is better that you encourage her to use her fingers to satisfy herself. In a couple of years she will be ready for sextoys and at first I recommend that you start her off with any five inch vibrator with a variable vibration speed. She can then work her way up to a larger vibrator and increase the intensity of the vibrations in a way that suits her.
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Tina from Leicester – Question – I am 19 years old and am ashamed to say that I am still a virgin. I want to buy my first sextoy so have you any suggestions for a novice?
Answer – There is certainly no shame in being a virgin at your age and in some ways it is admirable. With regard to your first sextoy – I feel that something that is smaller rather than larger is the best idea. I suggest a vibrator that is no longer than five inches long. Lots of options can be found on this website. You can always move on to larger sextoys in the future and by comparing them you will settle on what is best for you. With a little practice you should soon be able to achieve an orgasm. Remember that this is good for your sexual health. Should you need further advice at any time please email me. Finally, I would like to make one recommendation. As you are 19 years old and still a virgin please make your first sexual intercourse be with somebody special to you.
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Ben from Leeds – Question – I am embarrassed by the size of my cock which is only 6 inches long. Is it true that size doesn’t matter?
Answer – It is partly true but the size of a cock can matter. Having said that it is reported that the average length of an erect penis is around five and a half to six inches so you are normal. I can say though, from personal experience, that a 7 or 8 inch cock is preferable. I have had sexual intercourse with a man with a 10 inch cock and it was too uncomfortable to enjoy. To be honest I don’t think you need to worry. I suggest that you merely perfect your foreplay. Use your fingers and your tongue on her clitoris until she is really excited and is desperate for penetration by your cock. Then use a vibrating cock ring. This will help you to last longer and the vibrations will send her wild. There is a good selection of these on this website. Remember that your partner will be far more interested in achieving an orgasm than she will be about the size of your penis. After ejaculation continue to kiss her and gently finger her until you recover and your cock becomes hard again. Then back to the cock ring and fuck her again. Your cock is big enough and no woman would care about the size during or after being shagged like that.
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Nina from Llandudno – Question – I am in my first proper relationship and want to ask two questions. Firstly my boyfriends cock curves upwards – Is he deformed? Secondly is it possible to break his cock?
Answer – No, he is not deformed. Some men have straight cocks when erect but it is far from unusual to have a curved cock. Usually they will curve upwards like a banana. This is perfectly normal. As to your second question – There are no bones in a penis so it cannot be broken. Having said that it could be damaged. If you bent it with force whilst it was erect then there could be damage to the blood vessels. So rub it, suck it and fuck it but never try to bend it.
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Paula from Brighton – Question – I am 30 years old and have just noticed that my right breast does not match my left breast. They are not identical so should I worry?
Answer – Normally this is no problem at all. If you notice that changes in your breasts continue then of course you must contact your Doctor. You can always take photographs in a mirror and compare them from day to day. However, if they remain the same it is nothing to worry about but of course, if you can feel a lump then contact your Doctor immediately.
Our bodies are not symmetrical. For example, one side of our faces does not exactly match the other side. If you take a look at naked men you will see that the left testacle is not exactly the same as the right one. It is the same with breasts – Nobody has a right breast that is a perfect duplicate of the left one. Just keep checking them and if nothing changes then you are perfectly normal.
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Maria from Darlington – Question – I am looking to buy my first sextoy. I notice that sextoys from specialist companies cost so much when they can be obtained much cheaper from some other sources. Is there a reason or is it simply a rip off?
Answer – It is not a rip off. You are comparing oranges with lemons. Reputable companies generally offer a much superior product. Various companies offer these high quality products and one such company is ladylayla.co.uk
Products found on these websites are Body Safe. There are no harmful ingredients in them. Cheaper sextoys may often contain such things as Parabens and Phthalates which are harmful to health. That is not to imply that all inexpensive sextoys are unsafe but is merely a suggestion that care should be taken. The choice is yours and it really depends on the price that you put on your health.
Parabens are believed to disrupt hormone function. They act like oestrogen and too much oestrogen can cause an increase in cell division and the growth of tumours. So parabens have been linked to breast cancer.
More work is needed to fully establish the effect of Phthalates. Some phthalates have been linked with cancer and it is a possibility that they can affect development and reproduction. So to be on the safe side it is best to avoid both of them.
Once again you either want a product to be cheap and possibly harmful or one that is Body-safe and a little more expensive.
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Sarah from Wolverhampton – Question – Do you think the age of consent ought to be lowered?
Answer – This is a thorny issue and opinions will vary wildly. Some people believe it should be lowered and others think the age of consent should be higher. I understand that an age of consent law is in place to protect vulnerable children and in the UK that age is 16. The problem is that girls especially take no notice of it as they are ready for sexual intercourse and have raging hormones before the age of 16. Doctors even prescribe the pill for younger girls and many parents encourage this. So we have a law that is not working.
More importantly, we should ask why so many girls have raging hormones and are so ready to have sex at say 14. It is a matter of Nature and Biology. The human race has made many strides but that cannot override the basic and fundamental nature of our species. In the UK the average age at which people die is around age 78. However, originally this age was around 30. So if a person was to have children and look after them they would have to have their first child at about 15. Then they would die and the child would have their own children – And so it would go on. So, in a way, our opinions are totally irrelevant as Nature cannot be overridden but merely modified a little.
The age of consent could be lowered to fourteen but if it were then I believe that there should be a condition. That condition should be that any male having sexual intercourse with a girl of fourteen could not be more than two years older than them. This would prevent older men from taking advantage. Any that did would serve a very long prison sentence.
I have no preference as to what the legal age should be – 14 or 16 or 18. However, I believe that the law should be strictly enforced with both the men and the girls facing punishment for breaking it.
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Dawn from Bristol – Question – I am feeling a little stupid. When conversations turn to sex I hear the terms Perineum, Pegging, Rimming and Dams. I have no idea what anyone is talking about – Can you help?
Answer – If you have never heard a word before then you cannot know what it means – This is not stupid. I will deal with these terms one at a time.
Perineum – This is the area between the bum and the genitals. It is often said that this is a sensitive area and attention to it can cause sexual stimulation. I have never found this to be the case myself but give it a try.
Pegging – This the term used when a woman fits a strap-on dildo and fucks a man up the arse. Basically, it stimulates the mans prostate which generally produces real pleasure for the man. The prostate is a small gland located a few inches inside a mans backside. Stimulating this gland can help a man stay harder for longer and have a more intense orgasm. Not being a man it is difficult to comment on this but my male friends tell me it is a fact. Both strap-on dildos and similar items without straps can be found on this website.
Rimming is using your tongue and mouth to stimulate someone else’s anus. Basically, it is licking the outer rim of the anus. To indulge in this your backside should be totally clean and a douche should be used prior to starting.
Dams or Dental Dams are the oral equivalents of condoms. If your mouth comes into contact with vaginal fluid or a persons backside there is just as much chance of getting a sexually transmitted infection as there is during intercourse. These dams are used to provide a protective layer between the mouth and vagina or bum. Basically, they do the same for oral sex as condoms do for shagging.
Knowing the meaning of these terms is all well and good. However, your sexual health is what really matters and the quality of your sex life. So don’t worry too much about the meaning of certain terms. Concentrate on enjoying sexual intercourse and masturbation in pursuit of an orgasm. The female orgasm is the ultimate in sexual pleasure. Fuck the meaning of all of these terms – Just enjoy sex in all of its forms.