UNDERSTAND BONDAGE
Presented by Lady Layla
There are a few people who enjoy pain but the majority don’t and for them bondage is about fun. Both participants must feel comfortable with it and both must enjoy it for bondage to be a worthwhile exercise. To be honest lots of people who don’t indulge in bondage, or BDSM as it is often known, express opinions that are far from the truth. Bondage is merely another way to help participants experience pleasure from sex. People that participate in the BDSM lifestyle should always talk before, during, and after any activity to make sure everyone is on the same page.
BDSM in a healthy, consensual environment is not abuse. Bondage is just role-playing and doesn’t have to be aggressive or violent. It can be whatever the participants want it to be.
Usually, it is a woman that is bound but that could just as easily be a man. Often, however, the woman is submissive as the aim is to restrain her in a position where it is easy to have intercourse with her. It does not matter how she is restrained – For example ropes can be used or tape etc. The position is also not so important as long as she feels comfortable and there is easy access for a man to enter her.
There are many incorrect myths regarding bondage including –
1 – BDSM Is Abuse
First off, from personal experience, I can tell you that BDSM is not “abuse”. People who participate in the BDSM lifestyle always talk before, during, and after any activity to make sure that both partners understand what it is that the other partner wants. Also, just in case things do start getting out of hand for one of the participants, a “safe word” can be used to slow things down so that everyone participating is comfortable once again. Safe words can be any word that the participants agree upon before they start their role playing session. It is agreed that the chosen safety word means everything must stop until the situation has been resolved. A great safe word system to implement is one where the words red, yellow, and green are used. It is known as the “Traffic Light System”.
Red: When the safe word “Red” is said this means you want your partner to stop everything they’re doing immediately. It should be used when you’re not comfortable, things are getting too much, or you no longer consent.
Yellow: When the safe word “Yellow” is said this means that you are enjoying what your partner is doing, but it’s possibly beginning to be too much and you want them to slow things down a bit.
Green: When the safe word “Green’ is used then this means you’re loving what your partner is doing and you feel comfortable enough to have them continue doing what they’re doing.
2 – BDSM Is Painful & People Always Get Hurt
Not at all. It doesn’t have to be aggressive or violent. It can be whatever the participants want it to be.
3 – Only Weirdos & Perverts are into bondage
That is what many people think because probably they have only seen it in Hollywood movies or on TV shows. In reality, people who participate in BDSM are happy, healthy, open-minded and ready to explore their sexual identities, as well as being less judgmental of people with sexual preferences other than theirs. Every day normal people make up the majority of individuals who participate in the BDSM lifestyle.
4 – Only Men Can Be Dominant and they Are Sadistic & Dangerous
This is not true whatsoever; the role of the ‘dom’ can be played by women just as much as it can be by a man. As for being sadistic and dangerous it is just not true. Dominants obviously do enjoy having power over their submissive, and lead the sessions, but everything is agreed upon upfront. BDSM relationships are highly consensual and dominants should only do things that the submissive likes and enjoys.
5 – Once You Try BDSM You Don’t Want To Have “Normal” Sexual intercourse Ever Again
That is complete rubbish. Just because you like one type of sex doesn’t mean that you don’t like other types of sex as well.
6 – BDSM Leads To Infidelity
Although this might sound true but believe it or not couples that participate in BDSM tend to cheat less because they’re extremely open and honest about their sexual desires with each other which means they don’t need to find someone else to help quench their sexual appetites. If you feel comfortable enough to discuss all of your “turn ons” with your significant other then there is less chance that you’ll have to turn to someone else to help feed your appetite.
REMEMBER – BDSM IS JUST ANOTHER WAY IN WHICH YOU CAN ENJOY SEX AND EACH OTHER.
It is becoming increasingly popular for extra men to be included. As long as both partners agree then other men can be invited. Many women enjoy sex with multiple men and many of their partners find it exciting. It is merely an option that appeals to some but is abhorrent to others.